Who This Workbook Is For
Quiet Questions: A Self-Intervention Workbook is for people who…
- Have a nagging sense that something about their substance use isn’t working anymore
- Appear “functional” on the outside but feel exhausted or uneasy on the inside
- Have never hit “rock bottom,” but keep wondering if they’re headed there
- Don’t relate to traditional recovery narratives but are still curious about change
- Have been told, “You’re fine,” but feel disconnected, stuck, or lost
- Are silently Googling things like, “Do I have a drinking problem?” at 2 a.m.
- Aren’t ready for treatment or labels—but want to explore what’s really going on
This workbook was created for the in-between moments—the ones where you’re not in crisis, but you’re not quite at peace either. If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “Something isn’t right,” this is for you.
“Quiet Questions: A Self-Intervention Workbook”
A compassionate guide for those beginning to question their substance use
SECTION 1: You’re Not Alone
A Welcome Message from the Author
Hi there,
If you’re holding this workbook in your hands—or scrolling through it late at night—you’re already doing something incredibly brave. You’re asking questions that most people are too scared to ask. You’re listening to that quiet inner voice that wonders, “Is this okay? Is this really working for me?”
I created this workbook for people like you: the ones who haven’t hit rock bottom, who might seem like they’ve got it all together, but who feel something stirring inside—a discomfort, a pattern, a sense that maybe things aren’t quite as fine as they appear.
This isn’t a tool to diagnose you or pressure you into making any big declarations. It’s not about labeling yourself or checking boxes. This is simply a space where you can pause, get honest, and reconnect with yourself—at your pace, on your terms.
Wherever you are in your journey, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.
Let’s begin.
—Jennifer
Normalizing Ambivalence and Private Curiosity
Let’s get something straight: wondering about your relationship with alcohol or other substances doesn’t mean you’re broken. In fact, it means you’re paying attention.
Many people live for years—or even decades—with a gnawing feeling that something isn’t quite right. But if their life still “works” on the outside, they don’t feel like they have permission to question it. That’s what makes ambivalence so tricky. It sounds like:
- “I don’t drink every day, so it can’t be that bad.”
- “I’ve got a job, a home, a family. I’m doing fine.”
- “I only use when I’m stressed. Doesn’t everyone?”
- “I don’t want to quit—I just want to feel in control.”
You’re allowed to have mixed feelings. You’re allowed to want both freedom and comfort. You’re allowed to ask yourself, Is this serving me anymore? without needing anyone else’s approval or validation to do so.
What “Functional” Can Hide
Here’s the truth: alcohol and other substances can become coping tools so gradually that even the person using them doesn’t realize how much they’ve come to rely on them.
Here are just a few examples of what “functional” substance use can look like:
- A mom who never misses a soccer game… but drinks half a bottle of wine each night to calm her anxiety
- A successful business owner who doesn’t need a drink but always has one in hand at the end of a stressful day
- A college student who jokes about their “party habits” while quietly wondering if everyone else feels this empty afterward
- A man whose friends say, “He’s just a good-time guy”—but who feels ashamed of what happens after the fun ends
- Someone who takes prescription meds exactly as prescribed… but notices they feel uneasy without them
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to wait until things fall apart to explore what might be possible beyond “functional.”
This workbook isn’t about judgment. It’s about honesty, curiosity, and creating a little more space between you and the habits that might be stealing your peace.
SECTION 2: The Whisper Inside — Is This a Problem?
Learning to Listen to the Quiet Voice
Sometimes, the earliest signs of struggle aren’t loud or obvious. They’re subtle. A tightness in your chest when you wake up. The way you avoid looking too closely at your own habits. That quiet voice that says, “This doesn’t feel good anymore.”
This section is about turning toward that voice—not to panic, not to judge—but to listen. That whisper exists for a reason. It’s the part of you that wants something more.
Journal Prompts: Start Where You Are
You don’t need to have all the answers. Just begin with what you know right now. Use the space below or a notebook.
- Have you ever googled something like, “Am I drinking too much?” or “Do I have a problem?”
If so, what led you there? - What patterns or situations make you feel uneasy about your substance use?
Think about certain times of day, moods, people, or events. - What do you tell yourself to minimize or justify your use?
(E.g., “At least I’m not like ___” or “Everyone else drinks like this.”) - What’s the difference between how you appear on the outside and how you feel on the inside?
- What would it feel like to not need this substance to cope, relax, socialize, or sleep?
Imagine it—not as a punishment, but as freedom.
Reflection Quiz: Am I Okay… Really?
This quiz isn’t diagnostic. It’s just a tool to increase awareness. Answer honestly—no one’s watching but you.
Check any that apply:
⬜ I sometimes make rules about my use (e.g., “only on weekends”)… and break them
⬜ I’ve had a gut feeling that I might be drinking or using more than feels good for me
⬜ People have commented on my use, even jokingly
⬜ I worry about stopping, even temporarily
⬜ I’ve used substances to avoid, numb, or forget something
⬜ I feel shame, guilt, or regret after using
⬜ I sometimes hide how much I’m using
⬜ I use alone more than I’d like to admit
⬜ I’ve noticed it takes more to get the same effect
⬜ I’ve thought, “It’s not that bad… yet.”
⬜ I’m here, reading this
If you checked even one box: That doesn’t mean you have a problem. It means you have a moment. A moment to pause and wonder: What is this costing me? What might I gain if I listened to that whisper inside?
Optional Prompt:
Write a short letter to the part of you that’s asking these questions.
What do you want them to know?
What are they afraid of?
What might they be hoping for?
SECTION 3: The Social Cover-Up
What Culture, Friends, and Family Might Be Missing
Sometimes the hardest part about questioning your substance use is not what you think—it’s what everyone else doesn’tthink.
If no one in your life is expressing concern, it’s easy to start doubting yourself:
- “If it were really a problem, someone would say something.”
- “Everyone around me drinks just as much.”
- “They’d think I’m overreacting.”
But just because no one’s naming it doesn’t mean nothing is wrong.
Understanding Enabling and Normalized Dysfunction
Enabling doesn’t always look like someone handing you a drink. It often sounds like:
- “You deserve it—it’s been a long day.”
- “You’ve always liked to party, that’s just you.”
- “You don’t have a problem—look at so-and-so, now they have a problem.”
People enable for all kinds of reasons:
- They don’t want to confront their own patterns
- They don’t know how to talk about it
- They’re afraid of what might happen if you actually change
And normalized dysfunction? That’s when a whole social circle or family system is built around habits that seem normal because they’re common—but they’re still harmful.
You don’t need anyone else’s permission to decide that something isn’t working for you. You don’t have to wait for someone to say “I’m worried about you” before you start listening to yourself.
Activity: “What They Say vs. What I Feel”
Use the chart below to explore how the people around you talk about your use—and how you actually feel inside.
| What They Say | What I Feel |
| “You’re fine.” | “I don’t feel fine.” |
| “Everyone drinks like this.” | “But I feel out of control.” |
| “You’re the life of the party!” | “I’m exhausted pretending.” |
| “It’s not that bad.” | “It’s taking a toll on me.” |
| “You’ve got everything under control.” | “I’m barely holding it together.” |
Feel free to write your own:
| What They Say | What I Feel |
Your Experience Matters More Than Their Words
The people around you may mean well, but they’re not living your life. You are.
If something in your body, your spirit, your relationships—or your quiet moments—is telling you something’s off… that is valid. That is enough. That is worth listening to.
SECTION 4: Naming the Voice
Honoring the Part of You That’s Paying Attention
By now, you may notice there’s a voice inside you that’s been showing up again and again. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it nags. Sometimes it shows up as a feeling—like discomfort, dread, regret, or longing.
You might have tried to quiet this voice before. To drown it out with noise, substances, busyness, or denial. But here it is, still with you.
That voice isn’t your enemy. It’s a part of you that wants more—more peace, more freedom, more you.
Why You Might Be Fighting Yourself
It’s confusing to feel conflicted. One part of you wants to change. Another part doesn’t. That doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.
This is a natural response to any habit that once served a purpose.
- The part of you that reaches for a drink might be trying to protect you from pain.
- The part of you that stays quiet might be trying to avoid shame or judgment.
- The part of you reading this right now? It’s your wisdom. Your truth. Your resilience.
Instead of trying to get rid of the parts that feel resistant, what if you got curious about them?
Activity: Meet the Voice Inside
Take a few minutes to write about the voice that’s been showing up lately. Let it speak.
You might start with something like:
“Hi, I’m the part of you that keeps waking up at 3 a.m. wondering if this is sustainable.”
“I’m the part that gets quiet when the wine bottle is empty.”
“I’m the part that’s afraid people will think you’re dramatic if you change.”
“I’m the part that misses who you used to be.”
Give this voice a name or an image. It might feel like your younger self, your future self, or something abstract like “The Watcher” or “The Honest One.”
Ask it:
- What are you trying to protect me from?
- What do you need me to know?
- What would help you feel safe?
Write freely. Let this voice be heard without censoring.
You Don’t Have to Know Everything Right Now
This isn’t about having a plan or a solution yet. It’s about making space for you—for all the parts of you that have something to say.
When you name the voice, you honor the truth it holds. You say, I’m listening.
That’s the beginning of change.
SECTION 5: Micro-Changes & Experiments
Trying Something New — Gently
You don’t have to commit to anything permanent right now.
In fact, sometimes the most powerful changes come from simply experimenting. No pressure. No declarations. Just small, curious shifts that help you feel a little more you again.
This section is all about trying tiny, low-risk experiments—just to see how you feel.
What If I Just Noticed?
For one week, try this:
Don’t change anything. Just notice.
Use the tracker below to gently pay attention to your relationship with substances, without judgment. Record:
- When you use
- Why you think you used
- How you felt before and after
You can jot down words, draw symbols, or even just use emojis.
| Day | Time | Why I Used (or Wanted To) | How I Felt Before | How I Felt After |
| Monday | ||||
| Tuesday | ||||
| Wednesday | ||||
| Thursday | ||||
| Friday | ||||
| Saturday | ||||
| Sunday |
Optional Reflection Prompts:
- What patterns am I starting to see?
- Are there certain feelings, people, or places that trigger the urge to use?
- Are there moments where I didn’t use—and felt proud or curious about that?
Mini Experiments to Try (Pick One or Two)
These aren’t about quitting. They’re about building awareness and reconnecting with your own agency.
⬜ Take one night off and write down how it felt
⬜ Go to a social event and try not drinking—see how others react
⬜ Tell a trusted friend, “I’m just experimenting with drinking less right now”
⬜ Swap your usual drink for a non-alcoholic version
⬜ Try a grounding practice (like a walk, journaling, or music) when you feel the urge
⬜ Go to a recovery meeting just to listen, no pressure to speak
⬜ Write down the pros and cons of your current use—not to judge, just to see
You’re Allowed to Experiment Without Explaining Yourself
You don’t have to tell the world what you’re doing. You don’t have to call it anything. You don’t have to make it forever.
You just have to listen to yourself.
And try.
That’s enough.
SECTION 6: If You Want Help
What Getting Help Actually Looks Like — Without Pressure
Maybe you’re starting to feel like something needs to shift.
Maybe you’re still unsure.
Either way, it’s helpful to know what options exist—just in case.
Getting help doesn’t have to mean going to rehab tomorrow or standing up in a room saying, “Hi, I’m ___.” There’s a whole spectrum of support between doing nothing and going all in.
This section is about giving you choices.
The Help Spectrum: From Private to Public
Here are different levels of support you can explore. You don’t need to go in order. You don’t need to pick one forever. Just scan through and see what feels possible.
🔹 Self-Guided Exploration (Private)
- 📚 Books like This Naked Mind, Quit Like a Woman, We Are the Luckiest
- 📓 Workbooks (like this one!)
- 🎧 Podcasts (e.g. Recovery Happy Hour, The Addicted Mind)
- 📱 Apps like Reframe, I Am Sober, Tame Your Brain
Perfect for: introverts, researchers, skeptics, or people just getting curious
🔹 Anonymous Peer Support (Low Commitment, Community)
- 🧠 SMART Recovery: science-based, non-12-step support
- 🙏 AA/NA: 12-step programs with wide availability and structure
- 🧡 Women for Sobriety, The Luckiest Club, Sober Black Girls Club, and other identity-based groups
- 🌐 Most have online and in-person meetings; no cost, no sign-up required
Perfect for: people wanting connection and to hear stories from others
🔹 Therapy (Confidential, Personalized)
- See a licensed counselor or therapist (you don’t need a diagnosis)
- Ask for someone who specializes in substance use, trauma, or harm reduction
- You don’t have to commit to stopping—you can simply explore why you use
Perfect for: people who want to understand the deeper “why”
🔹 Coaching or Support Groups
- Recovery coaches (can help with habit change or creating new routines)
- Online groups or communities (some are free, some have a fee)
- Sober Instagram or TikTok can surprisingly help you feel less alone
Perfect for: people who want accountability or inspiration
🔹 Treatment Programs (If You’re Ready)
- Outpatient: A few hours a week; live at home
- Intensive Outpatient (IOP): Several days/week; more structure
- Residential: Live-in care if you need distance and support
These can be helpful if:
- You’ve tried to cut back and it’s not working
- You’re in crisis
- You want to immerse in healing and step away from triggers
FAQ: What If I…
❓…don’t know if I need help?
That’s okay. Help doesn’t require proof. Curiosity is enough.
❓…don’t want to stop completely?
Many programs support moderation and harm reduction. The goal is more freedom, not restriction.
❓…feel ashamed to ask?
Most people in the recovery world know exactly how you feel—and will welcome you with zero judgment.
❓…try something and hate it?
Then you try something else. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all.
You Deserve Support
No matter where you are on the path, your questions are valid.
Help isn’t just for people in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to feel better.
You don’t have to do this alone.
SECTION 7: If You’re Not Ready
Because Readiness Isn’t a Requirement for Awareness
Maybe you’ve read this far and still feel unsure.
Maybe you’ve been nodding along but thinking, “I’m not ready to stop.”
Maybe you’re still hoping it gets better on its own—or that no one finds out.
That’s okay.
This workbook isn’t here to push you. It’s here to walk beside you.
Readiness Is a Spectrum, Not a Switch
It’s not about being ready or not.
It’s about slowly becoming aware.
Most change begins long before action.
It starts with noticing… wondering… questioning… feeling something shift inside.
That means:
- You can not be ready and still grow.
- You can stay where you are and still reflect.
- You can come back later and still belong.
Gentle Boundaries with Yourself
If you’re not ready to make changes, can you still:
- Be honest with yourself about what’s happening?
- Take care of your body in other ways—like food, rest, hydration?
- Pay attention to your emotional triggers?
- Set tiny boundaries around your use (like a start or stop time)?
- Journal when something doesn’t sit right?
You don’t have to overhaul your life. Just stay awake to it. That’s a beginning.
A Note to Your Future Self
This space is for you to write something to the you who might pick this workbook up again in 6 months… a year… or whenever.
You could write:
- What do you hope they’ve discovered?
- What do you want them to remember?
- What do you forgive yourself for?
- What kind of peace do you wish for them?
There is no wrong way to speak to yourself.
You Can Always Return
This workbook isn’t going anywhere. Neither are your questions.
You haven’t failed by waiting. You’re just not done listening yet.
Take what you need. Leave the rest. Come back when you’re ready—or even before that.
You are already doing more than you think.
SECTION 7: If You’re Not Ready
Because Readiness Isn’t a Requirement for Awareness
Maybe you’ve read this far and still feel unsure.
Maybe you’ve been nodding along but thinking, “I’m not ready to stop.”
Maybe you’re still hoping it gets better on its own—or that no one finds out.
That’s okay.
This workbook isn’t here to push you. It’s here to walk beside you.
Readiness Is a Spectrum, Not a Switch
It’s not about being ready or not.
It’s about slowly becoming aware.
Most change begins long before action.
It starts with noticing… wondering… questioning… feeling something shift inside.
That means:
- You can not be ready and still grow.
- You can stay where you are and still reflect.
- You can come back later and still belong.
Gentle Boundaries with Yourself
If you’re not ready to make changes, can you still:
- Be honest with yourself about what’s happening?
- Take care of your body in other ways—like food, rest, hydration?
- Pay attention to your emotional triggers?
- Set tiny boundaries around your use (like a start or stop time)?
- Journal when something doesn’t sit right?
You don’t have to overhaul your life. Just stay awake to it. That’s a beginning.
A Note to Your Future Self
This space is for you to write something to the you who might pick this workbook up again in 6 months… a year… or whenever.
You could write:
- What do you hope they’ve discovered?
- What do you want them to remember?
- What do you forgive yourself for?
- What kind of peace do you wish for them?
There is no wrong way to speak to yourself.
You Can Always Return
This workbook isn’t going anywhere. Neither are your questions.
You haven’t failed by waiting. You’re just not done listening yet.
Take what you need. Leave the rest. Come back when you’re ready—or even before that.
You are already doing more than you think.
SECTION 8: You Are Worth Wondering About
Because You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Deserve Clarity
You made it here.
You’ve asked hard questions, looked at parts of your life that others may never see, and taken time to reflect—quietly, bravely, and honestly.
That matters.
Even if you don’t have a clear answer yet.
Even if you’re still unsure.
Even if nothing in your life looks “bad enough.”
The simple act of wondering…
The act of pausing…
The act of looking inward…
That’s the beginning of healing.
Who Might I Become?
So much of this journey isn’t about what you’re leaving behind—it’s about who you’re becoming.
Imagine a version of yourself that:
- Doesn’t need substances to unwind or belong
- Feels clear-headed and grounded in your own decisions
- Moves through life with more peace, presence, and power
- Knows how to care for pain without numbing it
- Trusts your own voice—and honors it
You don’t need to become that person today.
But you can start getting to know them.
Final Reflection: You Are Worth This Work
Complete this sentence a few times, and see what comes up:
“I am starting to realize that I…”
Then try this one:
“If I listened to myself more often, I might…”
And finally:
“No matter what happens next, I want to remember…”
A Quote to Carry With You
“Recovery didn’t give me my old life back. It gave me a new one—one I didn’t know I was allowed to want.”
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to stay curious.
You are worth wondering about.
Always.
—Jennifer
Disclaimer
This workbook is a self-guided tool intended for reflection, insight, and personal growth. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, mental health counseling, or substance use disorder treatment.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or believe your substance use is putting you or others at risk, please seek help from a qualified professional or contact emergency services.
Participation in this workbook does not establish a therapeutic or clinical relationship with the author, Pioneer Recovery Center, or Root & Rise Consulting.
Copyright
© 2025 Jennifer Silverness, MSEd, LPCC, LADC
Pioneer Recovery Center & Root & Rise Consulting
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means—including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods—without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations used in critical reviews or educational settings with appropriate citation.
For permissions or inquiries, please contact:
📧 pioneerrecoverycenter@outlook.com“
